I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
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I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
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I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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