I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
