I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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