im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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