DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
