What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
