enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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