Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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