I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
It's just like the Real World with babies
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
