Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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