A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
