is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
