If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
As shirtless as possible
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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