every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
