I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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