Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
tell your sister to shave her snatch
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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