I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
if only i could text you this smell
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
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It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.