You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss