everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator