Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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