The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesnโt even compare to the hangover I have.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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