Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Floor bacon is actually really good
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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