Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i dont even know how to be here
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
