i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
