"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize