help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
