I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
