2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
