PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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