goodnight i made you a song goodbye
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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