You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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