NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize