we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize