It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
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I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
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I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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