I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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