I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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