i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We had to coat check the pizza.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
