the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
