Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She bit a glass in half.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
