It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize