Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Randomize
