Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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