just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
