OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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