We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
