Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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