I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
he had hair everywhere except his balls
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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