please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
