she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
