I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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