TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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