Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
