you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
