The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We talked him into tasing himself.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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