On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
