In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I didn't notice because vodka
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
