Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
