he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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