she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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