i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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