Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He passed out mid-signature
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
