i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
