Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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