belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
